Monday, December 2, 2013
This is the Season, the Holidays are right around the corner and we just finished celebrating Thanksgiving, and with that I think that comes a time of Reflection on what are we Thankful for.
Today at Church the Pastor talked about how we should be thankful for God's Grace and do so with out grumbling. He discussed the scripture John 5:1-15 that talks about a man who was at a Healing Pool and he had been ill for 38 years, when asked he started putting blame on others John 5:7 , then Jesus heals him and he walks away, without saying Thanks, and then when the Religious Leaders scold him for carrying a mat on the Sabbath, he has no problem throwing Jesus under the bus by directing to him the "Fault" of why he was carrying the mat John 5:9-11. Basically he grumbled. He was not grateful and he redirected blame on others for whatever happened to him.
What am I trying to get at here? We Should Not Grumble. I have a really good friend who woke up today grumbling, he had stuffy nose, tooth ache, he had to go to work, he complained about this, and that. When I showed him a picture of the amazingly beautiful sky he got upset because he hasn't been able to take a picture with that kind of sky as a background. He was grumbling. I tried to change his mood, or at least get him distracted from his grumpiness and told him to think about how amazing his pictures will be when he does take those pictures with that kind of sky as a background. Then I changed the subject, and I think it worked because he did not grumble any more after that. :)
The curious thing is that I experienced this with him in the morning before Church and then at Church I hear this message that helped me notice this and then I started thinking that I don't grumble. I'm grateful every day for everything. I don't complain. But then I begin to grumble myself. I grumble when I see happy couples because I am transitioning into divorce and I see these four couples that I know closely that are also recently divorced and they are currently with a new partner, and seem to be extremely happy. But I'm not. I grumble because I can't understand how can a couple break up and soon after be in an amazing relationship, and why I am not in a wonderful relationship. I grumble when I see these couples posting pictures of themselves on facebook, hugging, smiling, in gatherings. Bleh!!! It makes me want to puke!! But that's just what I say on the outside. Because the truth is that I want that! I want the wonderful relationship just like them. But at the same time I realize that all these couples seem to be best friends, and I never had that. In all my years of life I have never had a partner who started off being my best friend. Never! Can you believe that? I can't! But I believe that is the KEY! I need to learn to have a best friend first so it can end up in a relationship.I must say that before my husband left, I did not have any best friends since middle school. After he left, I found several amazing people who are my Best Friends!
We should be grateful, everyday. We should notice when good things are happening to us, and be grateful. Now it's my turn, because I am now grateful that I have been experiencing what true friendship is. Whether it be with a girl or a guy, these friendships that I have developed are helping me learn to deal with other people, to know what a close knit friend is. And they have become my family, my extended family.
I thank God for allowing me to learn from my experiences, so that I can evolve into the person I am supposed to be. Because by being a better person, and a better friend, I will open up the path to a new partner in my life.
What are you Thankful for? In which ways do you sometimes grumble? What steps can you take to stop grumbling and start being grateful?
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Today I'm going to go a little off topic here. I just read an article in Cafe mom called: "Open Letter to the 22-Year-Old Who Wants to Date This Old Lady" She basically turns down this 22 year old guy who wants to date her because of their large age difference, but at the end of the article she asks her readers if she should even consider dating this guy.
In society I have noticed that it is more acceptable for an older man to date a younger woman, however it seems to be frowned upon if an older female wants to date a younger guy. Why is that so?
I found it very interesting when in the Movie Don Jon Joseph Gordon-Levitt ends up with Julianne Moore who in real life is 21 years older than him. I must admit that I really liked the ending, how he finds himself in love with this older woman, a love very different than what popular culture considers Love. I found this love story to be fascinating.
I must say that I tend to feel attracted by stories like this. I constantly wonder if there is anyone in this world who has a successful relationship where the woman is much older than the man? I really don't know.
I must say that growing up I always had a stronger attraction to older men. I've been attracted to men up to 22 years older than me. But after my husband and I split I found myself attracting older men, and after a while I realized that it was not what I wanted. I started getting creepy guys interested in me, white haired men, with no steady jobs. Some even too tired to go out. And while I dealt with these issues I found myself falling for a guy 7 years younger than me. I must say I was shocked, I had never liked younger guys before, but after that experience I realized I much rather date younger guys. So I started praying to God to give me a young guy. I have met a few younger guys but when the age range is more than 15 years then it starts to worry me.
Common worries about dating a younger guy are:
*Will he fall in love with my daughters?
*Will he cheat on me?
*Will he get tired of me?
*Will he find me attractive?
*Will I ruin his life and destroy his dreams by holding him down at his prime?
*Will his family ever accept me?
*Will my family ever accept him?
Does this all make sense?
I don't know. Sometimes I just wonder why all this matters. If two people love each other and are committed to each other, then age shouldn't matter. But to the society we live in, it does.
I just know that, when time comes, I don't want to choose. I want God to choose for me. Whoever is going to be my partner, and hopefully this time for life, will be chosen by God, no one else. Because he makes no mistakes.
Some people think that it's OK to just enjoy being single, enjoy life, do whatever you want, it does no harm. What do you think about this? Do you think it's OK to date outside your age range? Do you think it's OK to just have fun while you can? I want to know what you think.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Hello everyone, I have been absent for a while due to some partial loss of inspiration, but I expect to come back in full force, and give you things to think about that will hopefully help you in one way or another.
Today I have chosen to talk about Faith and Vision.
I have been hearing a lot lately about the importance of having a clear vision of what you want to achieve in order to achieve it.
Vision and Faith are the Key ingredients for Success in Life, lately I keep hearing this over and over again.
This is something I have struggled with for a long time. I believe this partial lack of Vision is what led me to create this Blog. What I want to achieve here is to make people think, and find within each of you the tools to move forward at those times when you feel Stuck.
What is your Vision? Take a moment now and think about it. What do you want in life? What do you want to be remembered for? What do you want to leave as a legacy to your children and grand children?
Once you figure that out, take a moment and ask yourself, Do you have Faith that you will achieve that Vision? That is all that you really need. A Vision, and Faith that you will get there.
Do you have both? If not, which one of them do you consider you struggle more with?
In my case, I struggle more with the Vision. If you think about it, it makes more sense to struggle with the Faith rather than the Vision, because How can you possibly have Faith on something you don't know? But that is what I feel sometimes, I have a very strong Faith in God, I know that I am here in this world with a purpose, and that I will fulfill that purpose, however, my Vision is very vague. Yet recently I've decided to work hard at making that Vision very specific. In fact, I will be doing an exercise to help me out right here, right now. I don't know if you know this about me, but when I write I don't plan it, I just sit at the computer and type away, whatever comes to mind as my fingers walk through the keyboard keys. I encourage you to do this exercise with me if you also struggle with having a Vision.
When you think about your purpose in life, what do you think about? What do you feel makes you special? If you don't know, take a few minutes and think about the people close to you, what are you known for by them? If you don't know, then ask them. What makes you who you are? Are you Funny, Helpful, Creative, Tough?
With me I am helpful, and a good friend. I will go above and beyond for the people I care about, and one thing that makes me happy is to be able to help those I care about the most. I am constantly looking for ways to help out my friends in any way I can, and making connections with people, by connecting people who need of each other.
How can you take that quality and apply it to making an impact in the world? I truly believe that the basis of every human being is to be of some significance in this world, even if all you do is impact the life of one person, that one person may be able to impact many more thanks to how you impacted them.
I can take that helpful quality and expand it to strangers, not only to my loved ones. I can extend my helpfulness by donating items, time or money to different causes. I must say I currently do that, I sponsor two girls in Children's International and I donate every year to F.L.A.G a School for girls in the Philippines. I also donate my used Magazines to a local Charity that brings them to the Children's Ward in a Hospital so that Parents have something to read while their children are being treated for serious health problems. I also started a creative business where I provide Graphic Design Services for people and Photography Services, Publishing Services, Event Planning Services, and all of these creative Services are provided by me and my dear friends, it's a collaboration, I want to have extra income and I want to help my friends achieve the same, we work together for a common goal. Ideally I want to be able to make enough money so that I can donate some of the proceeds to different charities that me and my friends feel strongly about, and we all do. If you want to check us out go to MZ Designs on Facebook.
So now, think back on your answers. Do you see anything that gives you an inkling on your vision? I do. My Vision is to have a Collaborative Company with my loved ones, where each of us gives part of who we are to the world, providing creative services that fill a need, that make people happy, that we can grow to a point where we will be able to expand our reach to help in many more ways. Not only with our services but with the things we will be able to do when our resources become abundant. I want to be able to impact millions of people, billions, trillions even. I want to make a difference in this world and do so hand in hand with the people I love who want to join me in this venture.
What do you want to achieve? What is your Vision?