Today I was pondering on what Love is. In the book The Power from Rhonda Byrne, Love is the positive force of Life.
"Everything you want to be, do or have comes from love"
The book speaks of Love as energy, it is what makes us like anything. Every creation is dependent on love, because it is the passion, and love of the inventor that allows him to create. It is everything we want in life.
But what about Romantic Love?
There are many sayings about how we cannot choose who we love. But what if we could?
Lately I have been contemplating on the idea, on the possibility that Romantic Love is something that we ourselves create. We can have total control over it.
Many will say that it is not true. Maybe I have never felt true love. Maybe every person I have loved I have done so because I wanted to Love them. Does this make sense?
If you think of Love as an emotion, and we think that emotions come from our thoughts, and we take into consideration that we have total control of our thoughts, then it would make sense that we are in control of who we choose to fall in love with.
When I look back at my life, and to all I have ever loved, I now can see that there was some choice involved. Sometimes you like a certain quality in someone, and you have a particular want for that, and you make a choice to allow that person into your heart.
In the book The Secrets of Happily Married Women it is mentioned that in the beginning stages of a romantic relationship there is a chemical reaction in our bodies that makes us feel infatuated to our new partners. And I also read that:
According to scientific research, emotions are generated during the process of meeting and falling in love because of chemical reactions that occur in our bodies. For example, whenever you first meet someone and feel attracted, your brain creates phenyl ethylamine, known as the "love drug." Dopamine and norepinephren are two more chemicals that arise from just thinking loving thoughts about another. Those two help us to feel excited and interested enough to actually touch or kiss someone, and that sets off more chain reactions, beginning with serotonin, which produces feelings of relaxation. Now the door to trust is open. (excerpt)
But this chemical reaction in our bodies is just temporary. We stay in love because we make a choice to keep our partners and we make a conscious effort to nurture the Love.
But I also believe that the first initial reaction to someone, that first inkling of love, is also voluntary. We have to be open to the idea of love, we have to be looking for something, and we have to be open to become vulnerable to that attraction once we see someone we like. We have hope that the other person will like us back and if they don't then we feel rejected and sad because we feel the loss after we made the choice to open our hearts and be vulnerable to it.
At this moment in time I feel like I am a little bit hardened, I'm more cautious when it comes to allowing other people into my life, but I am still open to the possibility of someday allowing myself to love and be loved. But I feel weird lately that I am hardened like this, because I see my relationships with people as being significant, but I see them as practical. I make the choice to be friends with whoever is my friend, but being fully aware of their flaws and their good qualities, and I am so cautious as to not allow myself to be vulnerable with anyone at this time. But part of me doesn't like it because there is no sense of that excitement, that feeling of being ecstatic for anything. I enjoy my days, I enjoy my family, my friends, but I am not excited about stuff in general, except maybe the coconut pops from Henson's Canteen at the Loom (LOL)
But I guess this is just a temporary phase and in a not so far away future I will feel safe enough to be vulnerable once again.
What do you think about Love? Do you think it is possible to choose Love? Or do you think it is something that chooses us and we have no control over it?